Beautiful Yet

By Isabel Morrison

Narrative Writing

Fall 2023

“Do you think I’m beautiful yet?” I said as I looked up from the ground.

“Do you find me beautiful, Alejandro?” I said as a tear fell from my eyes.

I placed a flower down on his grave as I wept softly. I gently traced the letters on Alejandro’s gravestone. If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever. I dropped to my knees, and the cold held onto my shoulders. I wiped the snow off the top of his headstone as I closed my eyes.

Two weeks ago

I grinned as Alejandro pulled me in for a hug. Today was our four-year anniversary. He took me to our secret spot for a picnic under the stars. As we lay under the dark sky, Alejandro leaned over to me.

“I love you so much, mi amor,” he whispered in my ear.

I smiled as I replied, “I love you too.”

I stared up at the sky as my stomach filled with the sensation of butterflies. I quickly glanced at Alejandro, noticing that he was staring.

“What?” I asked, teasing him.

“Nothing, just admiring your looks,” he replied with a smile.

He kept staring and I asked, “Do you think I’m beautiful?”

He looked all over my face and replied quietly, “I think you’re perfect, Claudia.”

That night could not have been more perfect.

Ten days later

I let out my breath as Alejandro wrapped his arms around me. We sat in silence as we cuddled together. I noticed a unique bracelet on his wrist.

I looked up at him and pointed, “Where did you get that?”

He glanced down at his wrist.

“I bought it online,” he replied.

I kept admiring the bracelet.

“It’s beautiful,” I said quietly.

He took the bracelet off his wrist, put it in my hand, and closed my fingers around it.

“It’s yours now,” he grinned.

I gave a confused glance, but just accepted the sweet gift. I placed it on my wrist and smiled.

“Thank you, Alejandro.” I said as I snuggled into him.

He softly replied, “Anything for you, my love.”

Two days later, one day before

I nervously checked my phone. Alejandro and I were supposed to hang out today. Over the past few days, he seemed more distant, but I tried not to pay attention to it. I was getting worried, and my thoughts were not helping at all. Did he forget? Does he not love me anymore? Did I do something wrong? Where is he? Did something happen to him? I could not shake the uneasy feeling I had in my stomach. I took a nap to distract myself from worrying.

A few hours later, I woke up and immediately checked my phone. No new messages. I started to panic; he has never been this distant. What happened? I waited just a little longer.

The next day, Alejandro’s point of view

I wrote my letters and gave away some of my stuff. This world was too much for me to stay in. I restarted my phone and sealed the last letter.

To Claudia. My love, my life. I’ll never forgive myself for leaving her.

I placed the letters into a box and taped it. This was my last goodbye. My last day here. I placed the box in the center of my bed as I wiped a tear from my cheek. This was it. As I closed my bedroom door and walked outside, it hit me. Like a punch to my gut, I doubled over with pain and doubt as they twisted my insides. But in a fleeting moment, it passed. I'm doing this. I moved slowly, but with purpose to the woods behind my house and sat silently. I looked down at the gun in my hand. I prepared myself for a minute before I actually did it. I placed my finger on the trigger. The world went black.

Four Hours Later, Claudia’s Point of View

I hadn’t stopped texting Alejandro. At this point, I was ready to go to his house. I grabbed my phone and put my shoes on, preparing myself for what could've happened.

If only I had known…

I arrived at Alejandro’s house within fifteen minutes. I knock on the door and wait for a moment. I grabbed the doorknob and found it unlocked. Concerned, I walked through Alejandro’s house, calling out his name.

I get to his bedroom door. It’s open just slightly. I inhaled deeply as I pushed through the door, only to find a box on his bed. I approached it and read the top.

“Letters to those I love.”

I quickly opened it and sorted through the letters. I found one labeled with my name. My eyes teared up as I thought of what this could mean. I tucked the letter into my pocket and quickly left his house.

I ran to the woods in his backyard and gasped at what I found.

There he was, sitting in a pool of blood. I noticed the gun in his hand and dropped to my knees. I looked at the one person who truly loved me. His lifeless body sat in front of me.

Why would he do this? Why couldn’t I have stopped him?

Two Hours Later

I called the police after I found him and later went back home. Alone in my room, with only his note, I sat on my bed and prepared to open it. I wondered if it would offer the answers I desperately needed.

My True Love,

I’m sorry I couldn’t stay with you. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I left you behind. I’m sorry for all the mistakes I made. I’m sorry for all the times I’ve hurt you. I’m sorry. I'm really sorry. I hope you can move on from me, and I hope you can remember the good times we had. I love you so much, and I don’t want you to doubt that ever. Please stay strong for me, mi amor. I love you so so much.

Love,

Alejandro

I couldn’t believe it. He was actually gone. My love, my life, my boyfriend. Dead. And I was the one who found him.

I reread the letter hundreds of times, but I still couldn’t understand. Why? I sat under the warm covers of my bed. I couldn’t make myself move or do anything. It seemed like I was ripped apart from the inside.

I couldn’t sleep. I kept replaying the image of Alejandro’s bloody face. I was sick. I was numb.

One Week Later

I visited his grave. As I walked up to his headstone, I had only one thought.

Do you think I’m beautiful, yet?